It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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