just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
