you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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