I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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