3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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