He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
