I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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