I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
