She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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