I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
