your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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