Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I can't put those talents on a resume
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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