There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
