shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
