i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
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As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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