she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
