Tell her she can't have a vagina
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
