now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We left an ass print on the piano.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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