If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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