the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
