if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Alive.
So much puke
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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