I wanna bring you to show and tell
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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