Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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