I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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