it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I've blown a few things in my day
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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