I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
