Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
