Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?