did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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