if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn