pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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