I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
