My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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