Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize