Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
