Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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