thus making me awesome and them whores
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
