apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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