Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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