guys are not supposed to queef...right?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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