Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize