He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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