Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
