Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize