Im at strip club and am horny
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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