he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
