Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
