dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
