I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
