the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
