Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
