Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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