wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
