I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
a search helicopter?!
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I FOUND THE LEGS
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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