if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
