Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
