Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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