just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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