Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
