do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
