remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
